


Jockin' Mike D. to My Dismay

by victoria_p (musesfool)



Category: DCU Animated, Under the Red Hood
Genre: 5 Things, Coitus Interruptus, Frottage, Humor, M/M, Schmoop, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-30
Updated: 2011-05-30
Packaged: 2017-10-19 22:20:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musesfool/pseuds/victoria_p
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four times Dick and Jason got cockblocked by crime, and one time they didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jockin' Mike D. to My Dismay

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure that somehow this is either mousapelli's or angelgazing's fault. I'm just happy to finally get to use this title.

[one.]

Dick's not sure what to expect when Jason shoves him against the alley wall, but he sighs happily into Jason's mouth when Jason kisses him. Jason tastes like stale cigarettes and adrenaline, which is kind of gross, but Dick doesn't mind. He likes this option much better than the other, which would have ended in uncomfortable bruises at best and broken bones at worst. He might end up with some bruises anyway, because Jason fucks the way he fights, and he's even more desperate than usual, but Dick will enjoy getting them this way a lot more.

"It's been weeks," Jason mutters against Dick's ear, teeth sharp against the lobe. Dick can't hold back a grunt of pleasure, and wouldn't have even if he could have. He likes the way Jason responds to the sounds he makes when they do this. He widens his stance so Jason can press a hard thigh up against his groin and gasps at the pressure, so good even through his cup.

"Only two," Dick replies, laughing and tipping his head back as Jason sucks a kiss onto his neck.

"Felt like forever," Jason answers. "Come on." He grabs Dick's hips, and Dick disarms the taser on his uniform so Jason can shove a hand down his tights.

In his other ear, Oracle's voice says, "N, there's a robbery in progress at the Korean deli on the corner of Tenth and Broadway." There's a pause, during which Jason grins evilly and jacks him, and then Barbara says, "Your heart-rate and pulse just spiked. Do you need backup?"

Dick swallows a groan and wraps a hand around Jason's wrist to stop him. "I'm fine."

"You sure are," Jason says, laughing and giving his cock one last squeeze before pulling his hand out of Dick's tights. He licks his fingers and Dick tries hard to ignore him.

"I'm on it." He grabs Jason's jacket and hauls him in for a hard kiss that's all teeth and tongue, resets the suit's booby-traps, and takes off for Broadway and Tenth, leaving Jason standing on the roof, muttering.

*

[two.]

Between the flooding downtown, the shoot-out in Robinson Park, and the Joker's latest insane scheme, it's six days until he sees Jason again. They're both already half-hard, due to the adrenaline rush of the job as much as the anticipation of seeing each other, but Dick stops Jason from going to his knees right away.

Jason's mouth opens to protest and Dick kisses him, licking along his palate and enjoying the way he shivers in response.

"Jesus," Jason mutters and Dick laughs into his mouth.

"No, just me."

Jason bites his lower lip in retaliation, sending a jolt of heat through him, which really isn't much of a punishment at all. He likes teasing Jason, likes the way he rises to it, the way he sparks up when Dick pushes his buttons, because Dick knows exactly which buttons to push.

Right now, he pushes Jason back against the wall and shoves a knee between his thighs, enjoying the way Jason lets out a low, hoarse moan and automatically grinds down against him.

And then Jason is banging his head back against the wall and saying, "Aw, fuck, no."

Dick stops immediately. "What?" Jason jerks his chin at something behind Dick, who turns to see smoke rising in a dark, thick column from--"Oh, shit, is that the zoo?"

Jason nods and grabs his helmet; this one's definitely going to be all hands on deck, and Jason, for all his faults, probably likes animals better than he likes people. Sometimes, Dick can sympathize. Before he takes off, he grabs Dick's wrist. "Tomorrow night, one am, on top of Wayne Tower." He gives Dick a hard kiss that feels like a promise, and swings away without waiting for a response.

Oracle's voice is in Dick's ear now, updating him on the situation. He knows it's serious because she doesn't even take the time to mock his poor relationship choices.

"I'm on my way," he says, and follows.

*

[three.]

Jason doesn't show up the next night, and two hours after their missed rendezvous, Dick hears from Tim about a meth lab in Tricorner that got blown up and he sighs in resignation. Jason likes blowing shit up even more than he likes sex. Dick tries not to take it personally.

Two nights later, it's still fairly early when he finds Jason zip-stripping a couple of would-be rapists. The police band is quiet for the moment, so Dick lets Jason lead him through a series of alleyways and then up onto a rooftop. They stumble around a bit because Jason won't let him get far enough away to see where they're going; his kisses are desperate and his hands are rough and uncharacteristically fumbling against Dick's face and chest. Dick pushes him back against the door that leads down into the building, and starts undoing his fly while Jason sucks on his earlobe.

"Why is this so hard?" Jason says, plaintive note in his voice, and Dick pulls back, laughing a little.

"Do we need to go over the birds and the bees again, Jay?"

"Shut up," Jason answers, though there's laughter in his voice now, too. "I mean, we should be able to shove our hands down each other's pants and get off, right? It shouldn't be so difficult." With anyone else, Dick might argue about that characterization of their relationship, but with Jason, he keeps his mouth shut and lets Jason continue to complain. "But lately, it seems like everything in the universe is conspiring against us ever getting each other off again." He lowers his head to rest against Dick's shoulder; Dick can feel his lips moving against his neck, but the words are muffled. Since Dick's pretty sure he's found a way to blame Bruce for the farce their sex life has become, he's glad he can't actually hear what Jason's saying.

Instead, he tightens his hand around Jason's cock and enjoys the way Jason thrusts into his grip, slick with sweat and precome.

The sound of breaking glass below, followed immediately by the shriek of an alarm, startles them both out of the illusion that they're alone, that they're actually going to get to do this without interruption.

A voice drifts up, louder than it should be, considering the circumstances. "The boss says the diamonds are in the wall safe behind the painting of the naked lady."

With a low growl of frustration, Jason tucks himself away and yanks up his zipper so quickly that Dick winces, but Jason's already marched to the edge of the roof and jumped off. His voice carries as easily as the crook's, but intentionally.

"Jesus fuck, couldn't you idiots have waited ten minutes?" Jason knocks two of the robbers out. "I haven't gotten laid in weeks and I was just about to come." The third one hits the pavement hard, but remains conscious enough to babble out an apology that earns him a vicious kick in the ribs.

Even under these circumstances, where Dick is more sympathetic than usual to Jason's tendency to go overboard with the violence, he says, "Hey, that's not necessary." Jason gives him a feral grin and flips him off.

"If J's got the jewelry store," Barbara says in Dick's ear, and he knows he's not imagining the amusement in her voice, "you can handle the carjacking on the Trigate."

"Yeah," Dick says with a sigh. "I'll be right there."

Jason tosses him a sarcastic salute as he leaves, and Dick wonders if he's right. Maybe the universe is conspiring against them.

*

[four.]

Jason's just sucked the head of Dick's cock into the wet heat of his mouth when Oracle's voice sounds in their earpieces.

Jason leans back on his heels and buries his face in his hands. His voice is muffled when he says, "Are you fucking kidding me? Giant mole men from the fifth dimension? Seriously? Fuck my life."

Barbara laughs, but Dick can only groan in frustration and agree with him.

*

[five.]

It's five o'clock in the morning, and even in Gotham, the criminal activity has died down for the night. Dick is tired, his right knee might be hyperextended, and he's going to have a bruise the size of Texas on his back when he wakes up. All he wants to do is have a hot shower and crawl into bed for a few hours of sleep.

There's someone already in his shower when he gets home, which is totally crossing the line, as far as he's concerned.

"O?"

"It's okay," she says, and her voice is kinder than it needs to be (but still with that thread of amusement running through it). "Have a good night."

He opens his mouth to demand a better answer, getting ready to kick in the bathroom door and throw down, when he recognizes Jason's jacket tossed over a kitchen chair.

"Hey," he says, sticking his head into the steam-filled bathroom.

Jason pops his head around the shower curtain, wet hair slicked back from his forehead and face flushed from the heat. "There was a slight incidence of fire at my place," he says, which Dick takes to mean he burnt the place down on purpose. "I figured you wouldn't mind."

Dick sighs and rubs a hand through his sweaty hair. "No, it's fine."

"You could join me?" Jason sounds tentative, which is different, but interesting. He makes a note to unpack that later. He's too tired to do it now.

"Yeah, okay." He strips off quickly and climbs in beside Jason. There really isn't room for the both of them under the showerhead, so Jason shifts so that Dick can stand beneath the hot spray for a few minutes, letting it wash off the night.

Jason soaps him up while he washes his hair, and it's awkwardly intimate, and not really the kind of thing he'd have expected from Jason, but the guy is full of surprises. He tips his face up, still kind of bemused by the fact that Jason's got a couple of inches on him (at least he'll always be taller than Tim), and captures Jason's mouth in a kiss that's softer and sweeter than any they've shared before, and then Jason shoves him against the cool tile, right onto his bruised back, and he winces.

"Sorry," Jason mutters, looking away.

"S'okay," Dick answers, pressing a kiss to his jaw. "C'mere." He pulls Jason into a hug, and surprisingly, Jason allows it, though he's sure Jason would deny it if pressed.

Jason wriggles against him and then rolls his hips, hard cock rubbing up against Dick's. Dick sucks in a surprised breath and thrusts back. The friction feels good, sends a jolt of pleasure thrumming up his spine, and he gasps into Jason's mouth when Jason's hand slips down to thumb the head of his cock. They move together in a slow, steady rhythm that makes heat rise in his veins, driving him to thrust harder, faster, more urgently as he chases that perfect moment that feels like flying and falling at the same time.

Jason goes rigid against him and then comes with a low, choked off moan. Dick shifts so he can thrust against the slick crease where Jason's thigh joins his body, eyes closing in anticipation. Jason's laugh is soft and wicked in his ear as he cups Dick's balls, and then Dick is coming, pleasure shuddering through him in waves. His head is too heavy to hold up; he rests his forehead on Jason's shoulder, the water from the shower now cool against his overheated skin. He shivers, and it's Jason's turn to wrap his arms around him in something that is definitely a hug, even if Jason will never call it that. They hold each other up for a few minutes while the shower washes them clean.

Dick yawns wide enough to crack his jaw as they towel off and Jason laughs.

"You staying?"

Jason shrugs and pulls on a tattered pair of boxers. "For a little while, I guess," he says, following Dick into the bedroom.

"Good, that's good." Dick shoves a pile of dirty clothes off the side of the bed he doesn't sleep on and waves Jason under the covers. He's pretty sure he's going to wake up alone, but right now, he doesn't really care.

end

~*~


End file.
